You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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