She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just had sex on a roof
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
