Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
