he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
no you cant smoke seaweed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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