mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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