She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize