a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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