I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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