tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
