I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
