I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she looked like the before picture.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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