I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
