i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
