he was CRYING into my vagina
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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