Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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