That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
