my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
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Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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