She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he just fucked me for my cheese..