Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.