this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
honey bunches of taint.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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