are you still at the devil's house?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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