2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's shark week go big or go home
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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