I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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