I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
