goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
