i just wanna soil my oats bro
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
