I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
