first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize