Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
