some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
