no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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