Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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