Kiss
Puke
only if we run a train.
done.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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