This girl is more easily done than said...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
