I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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