I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
