i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
