drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
