so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
