Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
