the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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