Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
