She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
