Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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