I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
