my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
