The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize