You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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