McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
