Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
