Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize