somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
