u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
