I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
