If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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