There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
