its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
