another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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