in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
