Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
