tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
