Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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