i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
