omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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